How lucky am I to be dived into a music project alongside my love, Noah?! I had no idea I’d end up in Olympia, Washington, singing and playing keys in a band called Elevator Operator, with soul family as bandmates. And yet, here I am! This musical endeavor has had a lot of ups and downs but I’m all in and enjoying the ride.
As a California kid in the 80’s, I was lucky and blessed to be raised in a musical family. Mom led the church choir and taught all of her five children to play piano, dad sings and had his own performing duo for a while with a friend, and every Christmas we were the kind of family that gathers ‘round the piano to sing carols. Music was often playing in the home ranging from classical, country, oldies and pop. I sang and danced in children’s performance groups which helped me discover my love of performing. I was soft-spoken and somewhat shy, but I came to life onstage in a way that left me feeling like I’d found my passion.
Like many teenage girls, I dreamed of being a singer. I began writing lyrics and melodies as a teen, but most of these stayed hidden away in my diary. By age 22, I stepped towards my musical dreams and applied to Musician’s Institute in Hollywood for their Vocal Program. It’s basically a rock and roll college. This place was a total trip and I was only there for a year, but it actually had a huge impact on me. Through the honest and straight forward critique of my voice teacher and fellow students I became a better performer, and through weekly one-on-one coaching sessions with a pro female rock singer I became a much better vocalist. I discovered the loud side of my voice while attending this eclectic college and for this I am forever grateful (previously I only sang softly).
After moving out of L.A., I was in a variety of fun indie bands and music collaborations in San Francisco, engaged in a rock and roll lifestyle of playing shows and partying. I’ve always had a desire to help others in some way, and I soon discovered that the best way to help humanity and change the world for the better was to begin with myself. So while on the one hand I was partying a lot, I was also reading self-help books, spiritual guidance books, and learning to connect with my higher self as well as my Native American ancestors. I eventually met my spirit sisters, dear friends of mine beyond this lifetime, in a shamanic ceremonial circle of women. Drumming, chanting and singing during ceremony helped me discover another expressive side of my voice which comes out to play here and there in our Elevator Operator songs.
In my thirties, ready to say goodbye to raucous party years, I committed myself to living life true to my spirit. I left everything behind and moved to Maui. The two years I spent on this island of tropical paradise were the most transformational years of my life, both blissful and extremely difficult. Without a schedule, a job, a home, and knowing only one person on island, I was able to be fully present and truly listen, watching nature for answers to my internal questions, trusting my intuition more and more. I was by my spirit guides into a life completely outside of the box, maintaining a free-roaming schedule living in my car and mostly jobless. Removing myself from creature comforts we associate with being ‘a stable adult’ was the most challenging exercise I’ve ever done in my life! Yet by removing the ‘safety’ of a house, income, etc I was able to face all the fears and old programming and limiting beliefs that surfaced with full attention and focus. In all honesty, I wondered what the f*ck I was doing with my life almost daily! I was living synchronicity to synchronicity, meeting life-long friends and the kindest strangers, days of boredom, ecstatic happiness, endless rainbows, music jams, skinny dips, jungle treks to waterfalls, hunger without food, loneliness, feasts with friends, generosity of so many people, dancing, authentic connections and conversations, out of this world manifestations, tears of gratitude, tears of sadness, the list goes on and on. At one point, after facing deeply ingrained fears, one after another, lost in the depths of despair and feeling like there was nothing left on this earth for me to live for, naked and raw feeling like a failure, I unexpectedly found my center. Shining forth from my core, in that darkest hour on the glistening shores of the Hawaiian sea, I fell to my knees bawling, and from my core beamed unconditional divine love, golden white light, and a timeless flicker of an inner fire to LIVE. I’ve never felt so weak and so strong, so dead and so alive, all at once. It seems once I’d learned to reach a truly centered place within myself my mission was complete and I soon felt the nudge it was time to move on. I was reluctant, not wanting to leave the embrace of Mama Maui and the beautiful community of Aloha. Heart expanded, knowing that I’ll always be ok in the bigger picture of things, and that home and safety are within me, not outside of me, are priceless gifts I carried with me when I flew off onto my next adventure.
A year after my return from Maui, truly loving life exploring a new city with dear friends in Portland, Oregon, stars aligned and I met Noah. Our connection was so real and powerful it pulled me in like a familiar warm gravity and before long I moved up to Olympia, where he was living with his two boys. Since then, we’ve combined forces in bringing our dreams of love, music and travel to life!
